Rooftop
by ShadowRose-SCW
Summary: Even if this meager gesture of affection was all he could give, L hoped beyond anything else that she might cherish this moment forever. (Fem!MatsudaxL)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Death Note

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He sighed.

Even the song of the angry rain couldn't drown out the sound of the bells echoing in L's mind. And of course he knew they were just in his head – there was no way anyone would hear actual bells on the rooftop of the Task Force building. He'd hoped that the rain and winds would give him some reprieve from the ominous sounds his mind created, but it truly seemed as if nothing could stop them.

There was a loud, telling squeak as the door to the rooftop swung open. He slowly turned to face the newcomer – he'd been expecting Light any minute now, anyway.

But it wasn't Light. Instead, he found himself face to face, eye to eye with the only woman on the Task Force.

They stared at each other.

Now, L was honestly quite happy to admit to himself and anyone who might ask that he had little to no knowledge about the inner workings of a woman's mind. Still, from experience, he knew that given the chance, they could be strong, graceful, and quite persevering. Naomi Misora and Misa Amane were good examples of this – even if the latter was a romantic airhead. They could get things done.

And then there was Matsuda Touta.

L had honestly no idea just how the childish woman had managed to get into the NPA because while she didn't hinder the Kira investigation, she hadn't really contributed much to it, either (and she'd nearly gotten herself killed on her impromptu investigation of the Yotsuba group that time...). Matsuda was a plain, simple person who normally wore her hair in a ponytail and dressed herself in typical work clothes. She was excitable, impulsive, often saying things without thinking. And she was unpredictable in the worst times possible.

…Which also made her oddly interesting in a way only Matsuda could be. So he'd watched her. Insulted her. Took in her excitability the way he would a breath of fresh air, and kept her close because he didn't want the world he knew too much of to change her any more than she had during the past two months.

"Why are you up here?" she called out to him from her safely covered spot on the roof.

"I thought it would be nice to get drenched in rainwater." It's sarcasm, but L wondered if she would pick up on that – he wouldn't be particularly surprised if she didn't. Still, surely she wasn't _that _naïve…

Matsuda glared at him. But then, she stepped out into the rain anyway, welcoming in the icy droplets accompanied by the bitter winds. She made her way towards him, taking care not to slip. She wasn't wearing her usual ponytail today, L noted. Soon, her bangs were plastered to her forehead and her hair was a sopping black mass weighed down by the weight of the water.

"Go back into the building; you'll get a cold," L chided her when she reached him.

"And you won't?"

"I don't get colds." L peered down her curiously – even with his slouched posture, he was still taller than her by a few good inches. "Why did you come over?"

Matsuda shrugged. "I didn't want to leave you alone out here."

It was a simple answer, one that L could see has no particular agenda behind it. But it's a peculiar reply, to be sure. "I'm fine, Matsuda. You don't have to bother yourself with accompanying me under such unpleasant weather."

She didn't respond, simply opting to stand beside him. It's a strange thing for her to do, and L wasn't sure just what the situation called for. But then, maybe silence between them was all that was needed or wanted right now; the quiet companionship she was offering at the moment wasn't exactly unwelcome, even if it was a little unusual of her. It was … kind of nice, actually.

"Do you hear them?" The words tumbled out of L, and he almost clapped a hand over his mouth. Why did he say that?!

She threw him a curious glance. "Hear what?"

"…The ringing of the bells. Do you hear them?"

Matsuda tilted her head slightly, straining her ears. "...No, I don't hear anything except the rain."

"Really…?" L hesitated for a moment before adding, "The sound of the bells have been unusually loud today. It's very distracting … I wonder if it's a church, or a wedding, or a…"

The last word hung between them, unspoken, but he was sure that even Matsuda would be able to pick it up. And if the way she bit her lip was any indication, she already had. He wasn't at all sure why he was talking to her like this – there were no games he must play with this woman. There was nothing he needed from her, and there was nothing she wanted from him.

But maybe that's why he couldn't stop talking.

"Please, don't pay me any mind," L started again, his voice dragging at his words. "Nothing I say makes sense anymore. If I were you, I wouldn't believe a word of it."

And again, Matsuda was simply silent. Where did that loud, talkative youth L had seen every day during the Kira investigation go? L scrutinized the slightly smaller form beside him.

Before him stood a tired young woman drenched in the heavy rain. Her eyes were empty without the usual hopeful excitement or the steely determination he'd seen as they had worked together. Her mouth was set in a grim line, and her shoulders caved in slightly.

This was not Matsuda Touta. This _couldn't_ be Matsuda because Matsuda is energetic and noisy and cheerful and kind. Not … _broken_.

"What are you _doing_?!" Matsuda nearly shrieked as L pinched her. Hard.

"Wondering if you're really Matsuda Touta and not some impostor."

"Geez, it's _me_, okay?!"

"It would appear so." L let himself smile a little; there was the woman he knew – and looking like she was about to slap him, to boot.

"...I don't believe it."

"What?" L stared at the creature confirmed to be Matsuda. What was she talking about?

Touta turned away from him slightly. "I-I'm not saying that I can understand everything you say, but even when you talk like this … I think that it has some meaning."

L continued staring at her. Was he even supposed to respond to that? He hadn't even realized that her mind was still on his odd little ramble. Finally, he dragged his eyes off his teammate. He allowed the silence to stretch and drag between them without interruption. But when she moved, perhaps to go away, his hand snatched the sleeve of her completely soaked jacket and refused to let go.

"Ryuzaki?"

L had no answer to the word that asked a thousand questions. But to be honest, even he wasn't sure why he'd reached out like that. He just … had.

"Please … would you stay with me just a little while longer?" He hadn't meant for the request to sound so much like a plea. And he didn't need to glance at her face to know that she was surprised; so was he. But right now, at this moment, even if he couldn't figure out the reason, he didn't want Matsuda to leave him alone on the roof. Not right now. More so if Light really was going to show up sometime soon. It was a strange thing, and not something he could really explain away at the moment – it must be the rain and those bells and the heavy feeling in his chest muddling him up.

But … he did know one thing for sure. He wanted to make a memory - a precious memory he could call his own whether or not he lived to see the end of the Kira investigation. And he wanted to make it with Matsuda.

"Ryuzaki, what–"

L hugged the female detective. Tightly, gently, carefully, he held her close with all the delicateness of a man handling a glass figurine. He tried to stroke her drenched hair, but could only go so far before encountering troublesome tangles and decided to simply keep his long fingers in the dark locks. It was tempting, so tempting to talk to her now, to let all of his feelings escape from him now that they were in this ridiculously intimate position. But he refused to open his mouth this time – refused to whisper empty promises to this woman. To give her hope for a future that had more than an 82% chance of never coming to pass.

Because Matsuda deserved so much more than empty words. And, oh, how much it hurt L to admit to himself that he couldn't give her anything more than that. Yet the toll of the bells still in his mind refused him any hope or even fantasy of a happy ending.

So instead, he let the rain pour without a word coming in between them. He breathed her in. And when Matsuda's arms came up to hug him back, his heart beat harder than it should for a few seconds.

L wished this moment – so beautiful, so much more real than the rest of his life has been – would never end. But Light was coming, he was sure, and L didn't want to share this with anyone. This was _his_. His and Matsuda's and no one else's. So slowly, reluctantly, he pulled himself away from her. Still, his hand lingered on hers.

"Dry yourself before you catch something," he murmured, just loud enough for her to hear.

And then he let go.

Matsuda didn't reply, but after giving him a long look – L wondered if there was something in his face that kept her from arguing – turned around and slowly walked towards the exit. And he watched her, dark eyes glued to her back.

She looked back at him once, her eyes unsure, hesitant. She wanted to stay with him for a little while longer, and just the thought of that warmed L's chest. But he nodded for her to leave - it was time for her to go.

Then, when the door shut and he was alone again, he allowed a tear to fall down his face, and he let himself pretend it was just another drop of rain.

Later, when the door squeaked open again, L didn't bother turning to face the newcomer – he knew who it was this time.

"What are you doing out in the rain?"

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**Author's Note**: Thank you for reading, and reviews are very much appreciated (this is my first time writing about romance).

(August 6, 2015 update - the grammar has been cleaned up a bit)


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Death Note

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"_Everyone_! The shinigami-"

_Thud-thud!_

For a moment, the world froze - L's eyes bugged, the air disappeared, his limbs seized... And then the world threw itself into overdrive, moving almost too fast for him to comprehend.

Somewhere far away, people were shouting, but he couldn't think about that right now, because Light – he was _smiling_.

L was right ... and not since the LABB case did being right strike so much fear into the genius detective's heart.

His backup plan was in place - Kira would _not_ escape justice.

But who would protect Matsuda until then? Who would keep her under Light's radar, far away from his line of fire?

Fingernails scrabbled against the tiled floor as L fought to draw in breath. He wrestled the numbness, the odd sensation of simply slipping away, because he needed to _stay_, damn it! _Please_–

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**Author's Note**: ...What did I just write?


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Death Note

**Author's Note**: Final chapter! Yay!

Thank you so much for your reviews, faves, and/or follows! It really means a lot to me.

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_BANG!_

The pen flew out of Light's – _Kira's_ – grasp and Matsuda tried not to flinch as he screamed. She hated the look in his eyes, the way he said her name.

Tears flowed down her face even as the entire warehouse seemed to run out of air. She struggled to keep the gun in her hands steady. "What was it all for, then?!" she growled. "And what about your father? What the hell did he die for?!"

"My father … you mean Soichiro Yagami?" Kira's voice lilted unsteadily as his own blood dripped down his hands. "That's right, Matsuda! In this world, all those earnest people like him who fight for justice, they always lose. Do you really want to live in a world where people like that are made to be fools?! I know you understand, so kill the others! _Shoot them!_"

"You led your own father to his death … and now that he's gone you call him a _fool_?!" Light was the one who killed L all those years ago. That terrible day, it was his fault. His mother's tears and his sister's catatonia were his fault. The freaking untouched sugar cubes still in the pantry of the Task Force's building was Light's fault! _And Light had sat there, holding L's body, screaming over it, knowing all the while that he was the one responsible–!_

"His blood!" Aizawa cried.

Matsuda didn't hesitate.

_BANG! BANG! BANG!_

Light's body fell to the ground as each bullet met their mark, but his wheezing breaths confirmed still echoed through the warehouse.

Unbelievable…

"I'll kill him … I'll kill him! _He has to die_!" Matsuda stalked towards the monster lying on the floor, gun aimed for the finishing shot.

"_Matsuda_!"

_BANG!_

The cement ground merely inches from Light's head was blown away. The whites of the murderer's eyes were visible as he stared at the smoking hole.

She had … _missed_. How-? She'd just try again, then, but … her arms – she was being held back!

"Mogi, get off me!" Matsuda screamed. "He killed L! _He killed L!_"

"Matsuda, calm down!" the older man pleaded as she struggled against the restraint his arms had suddenly turned into. Aizawa snatched the gun out of her hands. _Why_?! They'd all been working together five years now, so _how could they not understand_?

Meanwhile, Light was bleeding out and crawling on the floor like a broken marionette, crying out to Mikami for help his follower couldn't give. _Pathetic_.

"Misa … Takada … where are you?" he sobbed. "What do I do now?"

Matsuda stilled. Light had always been so brilliant, so elegant, so beautiful. And now, he just sounded like a lost child. It was … it was almost heartbreaking.

Almost.

He still killed L.

A horrific cry erupted from the opposite side of the warehouse.

Without anyone watching him, Mikami had somehow turned himself into the world's most gruesome fountain. With a pen. How had he managed to make himself bleed out like that with nothing but a freaking pen?

The arms around Matsuda relaxed – Mikami had stolen everyone's attention, it seemed – and she slid down onto her knees.

If this was a dream, then she really wanted to wake up now. And how could this _not_ be a dream? It just wasn't possible to bleed out like _that_. No matter what the circumstances. Maybe she would wake up and-

The metallic squeal of the warehouse doors turned everyone's heads, and Matsuda looked up just in time to see Light make his exit. Words were thrown between Aizawa – their new makeshift leader, she supposed – and Near, but eventually, Matsuda must rise and give chase to Light along with the rest of the Task Force. But for a man riddled with bullets, Kira somehow managed to evade them for a ridiculous few minutes.

In the end, they found his still body on one of the other warehouse's stairs.

Everything after that seemed to simply flow without end. Eventually, though, Matsuda heard some of the words tossed around her. "Shock", Near suggested at one point, with all the coolness in the world.

But regardless of whatever state had gripped her, the investigation kept on rolling along.

Ominously enough, the autopsy report on Light revealed that his cause of death was a heart-attack instead of blood loss. However, Near had waved aside all concerns, simply citing that since he had burned the last of the known Death Notes still on earth, if Light had died by anyone's hand, it was probably by the hand of one of the shinigami.

The thought wasn't much of a comfort, but it was all they had.

The Task Force and SPK cooperated to wrap up the Kira investigation neatly and quietly while also giving a coherent and satisfactory explanation of events to their superiors. A mangled version of Light's death was given to the public and to the remaining Yagami family. Eventually, the entire Task Force was reinstated into the NPA – although Matsuda had the strangest suspicion that Near had some sort of hand in that.

And finally, somehow, they were moving out of their old headquarters; now that everything concerning the Kira investigation was over and done with, they didn't really have any business in it anymore. But Matsuda couldn't help but run her hand over the desk L used to frequent, or stand beneath the doorway of what had been L's room. She visited the kitchen where they had first talked – _really_ talked. She remembered the morning greetings, the small nods of acknowledgement, and the occasional soft looks he probably thought she never saw.

She visited the rooftop last.

It was an inevitable thing, but still, she couldn't stop the trembling of her hand, or the way her heart thudded in her chest. She hadn't been back up there since L died; there had been no reason to. But now, she was leaving, and since it was a bit of an unspoken acknowledgement that Near would take over the building once they were out, she probably wouldn't ever be able to come back.

So Matsuda gripped the door handle tight, twisted it, and pushed.

The door whined even louder than it did five years ago, but maybe that shouldn't have been surprising, even if it was a little annoying. Not bothering to close the door behind her, she strode to the middle of the roof, where she and L had stood that rainy evening so long ago. Closed her eyes, felt the spring sun on her back, and for the first time in five years, really _breathed_.

"It's over. It's finally ... over." Relief washed through Matsuda's being as she spoke the simple words.

Because after five years, L's killer was dead.

Because after five years, Kira's reign of terror was finally lifted.

And now, it was time for her to move on. "Goodbye ... L."

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